Marital Issues in the Bedroom

Bedroom Issues

Marital issues can be difficult to discuss, especially those that take place in the bedroom.  We seem to shy away from discussing those basic marital concerns that plague most of us at some point in our relationship, but I think openness and directness can remove the shame out of this sensitive subject.

What is this bedroom stuff, you say?

The marital angst of blanket sharing.

The Background

In the early glory days of our relationship, we had no blanket-sharing issues.  Sleeping entwined, comfortable or not, we happily endured in our cocoon of love.  Covers adequately covered this sleeping position so no strife reared its ugly head.

Flash forward to children entering the household, entwining turned into a pre-sleep snuggle and then rolling to either side of the bed.  Carrying, lifting and cuddling little bodies all day made us desire some personal space…a bubble of self-identity.  Our queen-sized duvet on our queen-sized bed seemed to be able to handle the cuddle and roll quite well.  Occasionally, a foot or a butt would be hanging outside the cover zone.  We’d gently give our spouse a shove, pull the covers a bit more to our respective side, laugh silent to ourselves and snuggle back to sleep.

Enter the King-Sized Bed

As the children got bigger even though they weren’t being carried and cuddled so much, we started to desire even more personal space and started to feel a little entitled.  After a holiday getaway where we enjoyed the comforts of a king-sized bed, this wonderful island of bliss entered our own household, and thus, the problems began.

Our queen-sized duvet just was not up to the job of that much personal space.  Gentle tugging turned into violent reefing of blankets to cover the void.  Pre-sleep snuggles turned into strategic blanket positioning to entwine as much blanket around as possible.  Accusations were hurled at each other upon waking about who “stole” more blanket than the other.  Even the purchase of a king-sized blanket did not solve the problem as the habit of strategic blanket positioning was engrained making blanket real estate a precious and much-coveted commodity.

Children Solve Every Marital Problem So Have Lots

Amid the blanket turmoil in our marriage, we had a very nasty bout of flu run through our household.  Without getting into too much detail, this resulted in multiple vomiting episodes on our bed (by children).  We just could not keep up with the laundry of it.  Our king-sized blanket needed multiple daily washings, and we were forced to each sleep with our own blanket.

Cue Peaceful Music

And we’ve never gone back.  It is somewhat embarrassing to say a problem of years’ duration ended with such a fizzle.  Pre-sleep snuggling is back in and occasional blanket sharing, but with the knowledge that there is our own blanket waiting for us should the blanket sharing not work out.  Co-habitating at its finest.

Sharing is Overrated

Sharing linens is way overrated and could lead to the breakup of your marriage.  Don’t do it.

Think outside the box.  If you are arguing over small stuff in your relationship, take a closer look.  There could be some easy fix that you’re overlooking just because it’s always been done a certain way.  Little spats are like a chisel on your relationship chipping away and weakening it.

Don’t sleep on it…it could be the demise of your marriage, especially when two dogs now share the bed too.