This is my bathroom scale.  As you can see, there are no numbers on it because I cannot stand on it and take a picture of it at the same time….No, really, I cannot.  It is mentally impossible.

I like to refer to my scale affectionately as Bob or Son of a Bitch (sorry, mom)…it really depends on the day.

There are some things you should know about Bob.  Bob has a lot of influence in my life. He can really make or break my morning until I forget his supportive or hurtful remarks.  He also is quite controlling dictating in no uncertain terms what I should eat and how much of it I should consume.  You would think it important break off a relationship like this, but unfortunately, society keeps telling me that it is healthier for me to be in a good relationship with Bob than out of it.  Bob has a lot of power.

Sometimes, I break free of Bob and rebelliously consume cheesecake or homemade chocolate chip cookies, but I can hardly think of myself as courageous as I avoid Bob for a few days until things have settled down.  If I am lucky and show appropriate remorse, he will have forgotten about my transgression and welcome me back with open arms.

There are a few tips and tricks I’ve learned to get Bob to be kinder to me such as being positioned well on our slightly uneven floor and by not consuming water for about 8 hours before I visit Bob.  Fiber is also another key ingredient to a peaceful existence with Bob. You think that this is a lot of trouble to go to for Bob’s approval, but you don’t know the mind games Bob plays.  I see his influence on magazine covers and television.  It appears I’m not the only one under Bob’s spell.

In thinking about my relationship with Bob, it’s one of co-dependency.   He needs my batteries, and I need his love. I’m looking forward to the day I figure out how I can live without Bob and end this toxic relationship. 

That said, I’m in my 40s (if I haven’t said that already) and am hardly shooting for a super model career.   Nope, my goal is much lower…perhaps a little less muffin to my top, to keep my feet in view and have my current wardrobe fit a little less snugly.

One day though, Bob, I’m going to break free, and your hold on me will end.  My only hope is that it ends not just for me, but for all of you held hostage by Bob’s opinion.

You own me no more, Bob!
Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash

Unexpected Moments

Life is full of unexpected moments. 

Driving down a busy road on our way to the bus depot, my husband veered suddenly a little to the left and missed a little bird looking for seeds on the road.  This creature was obviously not meant to be roaming the outdoors with the danger of hawks, eagles, and crows around, but was most probably an escaped pet.  Regardless, it was not a wild species and lacked any sort of street sense.  Thankfully, my daughter, the bird whisperer, caught it saving it from certain death in the great outdoors.

Sometimes unexpected moments facilitate you saving a life.

This is not the bird. We are intentionally being vague to find the proper owners.
Photo by John Duncan on Unsplash

Running into a friend at our local school while walking the dogs this morning, we caught up on everything that had been going on during COVID.  During the conversation, I discovered she was teaching tennis and shared with her that I had been wanting to learn to play properly.  Little did she know that every time I had passed that court recently, I had wanted to learn to play again. 

Sometimes unexpected moments manifest opportunity.

Sadly, this week, I have heard of two deaths…one close…one not so close, but both equally tragic and unexpected.  One a much-loved father and the other two much-loved animals.

Not experiencing these tragedies directly, I have no right to speak of what is being felt or what lessons are to be learned, if any.  Having experienced death closely, I have my doubts that the Universe means for us to learn any kind of life lesson, but rather to marvel at the resilience of the human spirit to make meaning in one’s own time out of pain.  

Sometimes unexpected moments cause you sadness.

What these unexpected moments do have in common though is they remind me how wonderful life is, to appreciate absolutely everything, to approach life with an open heart and to love so fully as to leave a humongous loving footprint wherever I land.

Love big.  Live fully awake.