When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind. – Wayne Dyer
It can be hard to choose kind. When my anxiety sets in and my confidence is low, I find myself choosing unkind. I use words to hurt other’s confidence and to raise myself up, I judge other’s choices in light of what I deem to be right and I use my anxiety as an excuse to control situations and to protect my vulnerable self. The common outcome after the initial euphoria of being “right” wears off is feeling even lower, even less confident and stained. I feel like people can see through me and see how grey and ugly my heart is and undeserving.
The only antidote I have found to my cycle of unkindness is a period of resetting my internal gauge back to kindness. This includes having to stop talking, removing myself from Facebook, avoiding negative people, watching some videos of fellow humans being kind or something uplifting, and practicing kindness first to myself allowing myself compassion when I fail, but never permission to quit.
It’s hard, and the cycle repeats over and over again.
However, I do believe the continued trying matters. Even if I’m far being as kind as I would like to be, my lens of perspective is becoming more refined. I am getting better at seeing acts of kindness and love rather than focusing on the spread of negativity. I am getting better at seeing the good in people as opposed to assuming negative intent. I am able to appreciate kindness directed at myself and accept graciously and gratefully rather leave it unrecognized and (dare I say!) entitled.
My spirit is encouraged by my continued growth and makes me hopeful that in years to come I will choose kindness more wholeheartedly and authentically with a whole lot less ego.
So, I need to trim the quote a little…
When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind (as often as you can and a little bit more beyond that). – Wayne Dyer (and Jane)