As per Wikipedia, the definition of assertive is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive.
Assertiveness is not one of my strongest characteristics. Being an introvert, I would much rather avoid conflict altogether than become embroiled in any…unpleasantness. Under stress, I am not the most eloquent speaker, so between stumbling on my words and hesitating speech, I do not present as someone who is self-assured or confident. Underlying that is a vein of people pleasing which seems to get less important as I get older and learn that pleasing anyone other than myself is pretty much an impossible task and not my responsibility.
Once in a while though I have a day, an awesome day where I am able to challenge my fear of conflict, take a deep breath and meet issues head on. Today was such a day. I dealt with insurance issues, roofers, school-funding frustrations and contractors keeping my poise and in some cases resolving problems and in others not getting my way, but letting my opinion be known in a kind, yet direct way.
Funny enough, I’m okay with not getting my way for the most part which is weird. Most of the time I measure success by achieving my objective. Today, my measuring stick was different. I achieved my objective just by stepping up, staying cool and being authentic. I like the feeling of this measuring stick a lot better, more in my control.
So today, I’m feeling assured and confident. Tomorrow might be different, but I’m all about basking in a good feeling while you have it.
What challenges, big or small, did you meet head on today?
Update: I just learned that on the issue where I was direct and didn’t go my way, they are bending things to work as per my request. Yah to kind, direct communication!