Day 53 – On Being Kindly Assertive

As per Wikipedia, the definition of assertive is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive.

Assertiveness is not one of my strongest characteristics.  Being an introvert, I would much rather avoid conflict altogether than become embroiled in any…unpleasantness.  Under stress, I am not the most eloquent speaker, so between stumbling on my words and hesitating speech, I do not present as someone who is self-assured or confident.  Underlying that is a vein of people pleasing which seems to get less important as I get older and learn that pleasing anyone other than myself is pretty much an impossible task and not my responsibility.

Once in a while though I have a day, an awesome day where I am able to challenge my fear of conflict, take a deep breath and meet issues head on.  Today was such a day.  I dealt with insurance issues, roofers, school-funding frustrations and contractors keeping my poise and in some cases resolving problems and in others not getting my way, but letting my opinion be known in a kind, yet direct way.

Funny enough, I’m okay with not getting my way for the most part which is weird.  Most of the time I measure success by achieving my objective.  Today, my measuring stick was different.  I achieved my objective just by stepping up, staying cool and being authentic.  I like the feeling of this measuring stick a lot better, more in my control.

So today, I’m feeling assured and confident.  Tomorrow might be different, but I’m all about basking in a good feeling while you have it.

What challenges, big or small, did you meet head on today?

Update:  I just learned that on the issue where I was direct and didn’t go my way, they are bending things to work as per my request.  Yah to kind, direct communication!




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