Continuation from Day #37…
When talking about others, my intention is not to be malicious, and I do not delight in the struggles of others. What I do love to talk about is what makes people tick…what is the cause and effect of human nature. Humans are so complex, and a good session of trying to unravel some of the mysteries is fun to me. I thought this type of conversation was an anomaly; however, my digging unearthed this gem…
When you talk about other people, you often do it partly from the love of a tale and partly in a genuine spirit of inquiry, a desire to unravel the mystery of another person. Why do you think he said that? What does her behavior teach me about what to do and what not to do? Is that just the way he talks to people, or does he have something against me? – Article by Sally Kempton, Yoga Journal.
Done in the spirit of investigative inquiry, this type of talking is harmless and can even be beneficial in clearing the fog on some of your issues; however, I have found for myself it is a slippery slope, very quickly I can get caught up in the chat, want to make a point and reveal too much or equally criticize and mount my self-righteous soapbox.
This is not the person I want to be. Criticism leaves no room for understanding, and self-righteousness edges out love.
So here’s the tools I’m going to use:
- Have one or two friends who are your gossip buddies. I loved this suggestion. If you are able to get that hashing of human nature out of your system with trustworthy and loyal friends, you will be a better friend and listener with others. Pick friends who will hold you accountable to be kind.
- Deep breaths. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of the conversation, especially if you’ve had a large Americano. Stop take a breath, notice what’s around you and just listen for a while.
- Catch yourself and turn it around. Say something positive.
- Stay home. There are some times where my spirit is depleted, and I’m not feeling good about myself generally. Those are the times where I’m (slowly) learning to exercise some wisdom, stay home and put some emphasis on self-care. Negativity perpetuates negativity.
Thanks for being there for my journey. There is some amazing advice out there. Now tomorrow, unsolicited advice…really duct tape would solve all three.