Inadvertently this spring, I threw a seed mix into my garden just to use it up. Nothing much came of the seed mix until we noticed one distinct weed was growing above the rest (weeding is taking a back seat to bramble fun). Last week, it flowered and revealed a lovely, bright yellow sunflower. Every day, the kids and I peek at our beautiful flower and admire…a bit of sunshine amongst the green weeds and bramble.
It’s continually fascinating to me how the Universe continually hammers a message at you until you finally reach a point of listening and understanding. Sometimes, your subconscious already has picked up on the hints and is busy setting up hints for my slow processing speed. My requests for books from our local library usually mirror whatever angst is going on in my soul, so after a period of feeling intensely busy all the time, I went to the library, and there on the order shelf was a plethora of books on calm, slowing down, slow living and mindfulness (tax time usually involves a selection of books on off the grid living).
Whining and lamenting my frustration at never having any breathing time or the opportunity to do what I wanted to do, I started my trek through these books…jotting down quotes of inspiration while taking short breaks from working, ferrying people around and errands of life, but still not connecting the dots. Thankfully, the Universe never gives up that easily.
My constant mental complaining and whining only led to out loud whining and complaining…poor me…so busy…never any time for me.
A few days ago staring through the window admiring the sunflower with my teens while making dinner, one commented to the other “It’s so cool the way it follows the sun.” “Yah!” said the other “You can always tell what time a day it is by looking at where the head is.”
Record screeching halt to dinner preparation. “What?! It follows the sun?!”
“Of course, Mom! Didn’t you notice?!”
Weakly answering, I said “No, I just thought it was a pretty flower.”
I received some deserved disdainful looks from my teens at this point.
The next couple of days, I stopped and noticed our sunflower following the sun; it faced east in the morning and by the evening it was facing west. Because sunflowers do not swivel 360, I noticed how it moved its face to follow the sunlight.
And you know what, it didn’t stop there. I started stopping and noticing the way my impatient mind would carry itself off when I was working or doing housework, and I started bringing it back to focus on the task at hand. I started stopping more to stare out the window for a few seconds and notice what the bird was doing on the lawn or the dog digging a new hole in the lawn. I dug into my book selections with a new mind of actually paying attention to what I was reading. I started recognizing that feeling of over committing to something where it would manifest as quantity over quality and turned down some invites, rescheduling them in a more qualitative way. I started noticing that anxiety rumble and started breathing. I started noticing my bad attitude and changed my attitude or changed the plan.
My life quality is going back up again. I can almost feel myself welling a bit when I say this. Anxiety and mindlessness are soul-sucking places to live.
All this due to a sunflower (and teenagers). Thank you, teachers. I’m paying attention now and following the sun.